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The importance of support while grieving

Chris Merlino

Chris is the owner of Buklad-Merlino Memorial Homes. He is an Expert Contributor for Hamilton Square Neighbors magazine where this was originally published.

Most people don’t talk much about death and dying. There are so many other things that we would rather focus on in life, so when we are confronted with death, many of us find we do not know how to address loss and the feelings that come with it.

Each loss is its own experience, two losses cannot be compared to each other. Where grief is concerned, we must be patient and let it unfold in its own way and time. Having expectations that we grieve in a certain way or on a predetermined schedule is extremely unfair, and may prevent full healing.

When a loved one passes, it can be an acute pain at once or a process that takes time to unfold and understand. There are so many factors like age of the deceased or of the mourner, experience with grief and loss, conditions of the loss, and many other unique qualities.

“Grief is the price we pay for love.” – Queen Elizabeth II

It is very important to honor your own grieving process with compassion and to seek out and accept support from others when support is needed. Grief can be excruciatingly lonely and painful, and as is the case with all pain, sometimes we need to get help in order to heal.

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” – C.S. Lewis

There are many books that offer comforting perspectives and suggestions on ways of experiencing and expressing grief. We have resources for you available online, including a referral network, ways to find support groups, and books.

Not all of our loved ones have extensive experience with grief and may need space to process their own feelings in their own ways, and in their own time.

One of the most effective ways to begin healing is through counseling and support groups. Community with others who have experienced loss can help us understand and heal, as we receive and give support. There is companionship and perspective in healing together that is very helpful to many people. We strongly encourage those who need company in their grief to seek out a good support group and or a qualified grief counselor. Use the resources section on our website to get started:

At Buklad Merlino, we help our community in their times of transition. We are always here to help you get the support that you need.


We understand that making decisions about a funeral can be difficult. Whether planning ahead or at a time of loss, we're here to answer questions, support, and guide you every step of the way. 


Honor your loved ones by helping them honor you and your wishes. Be prepared by making important decisions and arrangements ahead of time. We're here to help you. 

Your loved ones will be grateful, relieved, and free to grieve with grace.

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